‘A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.’ – anonymous
Lately, I have been following the exploration of ego vs. Essence, negative / positive aspects of type, and the nature of temperament.
Last week, I had two situations, one in the middle of a meeting with my TL and another in a personal conversation, where I felt embarrassed – things didn’t turn out at all how I wanted them to and it seemed like I messed up. As I experienced these situations and have been reflecting on them, although I didn’t like how they unfolded, I recognize that the discomfort involved in both instances was about me protecting my ego (in other words – wanting to look good or at least not to look bad).
On the contrary, I’m grateful that both of these things happened exactly as they did. They were and continue to be good opportunities for me to learn, grow, and evolve – both in my work and my life.
Usually, our desire to keep our ego in a crust, to avoid failure and embarrassment, causes us to sell out on ourselves, not go for what we truly want, or hold back in a variety of detrimental ways. As the saying goes, “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.”
This doesn’t mean that in order to evolve, and transform in life you should go through suffering, disappointment, or pain. However, when we do experience difficulties, failures, and challenges , all of which are normal and natural aspects of life and growth , we have the capacity to turn these “bad” things into incredible opportunities for healing and transformation. While it may not seem that way to us (or our ego) initially, the deeper part of who we are (our soul) knows that everything happens for a reason and there are always important lessons for us to learn in each situation and experience in life.
The most rich pleasurable, and self-loving way for us to grow and evolve is through joy, success, and gratitude. However, due to the fact that difficulties do occur in life and that we often give away our power to the “bad” stuff (through resistance, judgment, or worry), learning to relate to our challenges in a more positive and conscious way is a crucial part of our growth journey.